Kenneth Liu

If I could generalize with a broad stroke, many of us come from a highly repressed cultures. Asians on a whole are emotionally constipated, with an occasional blowout [excuse my crassness]. Passive aggressive is another way of describing our M.O. Couple that with being Presbyterians, who are often dubbed, the “frozen chosen”, this does not bode well for our emotional state. Emotions are generally distrusted in favor for intellect, reason and order. Saving face becomes the greater virtue rather speaking the truth in love. The distrust of our emotions is not unique to being Asian or Presbyterian, but an assumption adopted by many.

What I have failed to realize after all these years is that I’ve been living off a false assumption and I am seeing more clearly the consequences of such [more on this later]. In fact, when I cease to feel, and cease to be truly human. Matthew Eliot’s book, “Feelings: the power of listening to your heart”, has been incredibly helpful in understanding the place of emotions, its role and importance. Here are his conclusions:

1. Emotions are given by God to drive our best.
2. Emotions are among the most logical and dependable things in our lives.
3. The true health of our spiritual lives is measured by how we feel.